Hyperion Cantina – Behemoth-class Battlecruiser

HyperionCantina

As any self-conscious guy will timidly inform you; “size doesn’t matter, it’s what you do with it that counts” and this statement proves true, when it comes to the Hyperion’s Cantina. Based within the natural confines of a battlecruiser, the Cantina’s smart use of space is highly commendable; it’s subtle attention to detail, impressive.

To maximise floorspace, the main entertainment hub of the Cantina has been suspended in the air, hanging from a central column. Here you’ll find the ships jukebox – that plays a fine selection of tunes – and a TV screen that broadcasts regular news updates from across the galaxy. If that doesn’t satisfy your entertainment needs, there’s always “The Lost Viking” arcade machine against the wall or for those looking for something a little more raunchy, the wiles of a holo-dancing night elf can be enjoyed on the mezzanine floor.

Furnishings are sparse and functional, with robust metallic tables and chairs through-out and some scattered posters thrown up for decoration. Battle trophies, acquired on the crews previous missions, have been hung above the main door, creating a nice feature wall that is illuminated by the rooms florescent lighting. They add much needed character to what would otherwise be a very sterile environment.

When it comes to beverages, the bar is always well stocked and the barman is renowned for making a mean Mai Tai. If that’s not your thing, fear not, the drinks menu also includes Bearnies old scotch, Geim whiskey, Mongwell Tequila, ZROM rum and Umojan beer; something for everyone basically, as long as you want booze.

Rating:

This testosterone filled Cantina certainly isn’t for everyone and the clientèle can leave a lot to be desired. However, it’s also these aspects that also give the place a unique character. Needless to say, if you’re looking for a rough and ready boozer, which is oozing with a hostile atmosphere, look no further than the Hyperions Cantina.

4/5

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Bantam – Kamurocho

bantam

Situated in the heart of Kamurcocho, Yakuza’s fictional version of Tokyo’s red-light district, Bantam is a stark contrast to the neon soaked skyscrapers that surround it. With it’s brickwork finish, complete with wooden chalk boards, stained glass windows and heavy oak doors, this traditional Irish pub certainly looks the part from the outside. Inside however, the feel is slightly more one of a themed wine bar, as opposed to a fully fledged pub.

The intimate setting retains the Irish pub look through-out though, with only the sharp suited Japanese businessmen betraying the (virtual) reality of the pubs actual location. With an authentic wooden finish, furnished with bar stools, high standing tables and chairs and some comfy sofa’s to relax on. The cream walls are adorned with fitting pictures, prints, ornamental plates and even a set of old boxing gloves, giving the place a homely feel.

Anything the bar staff lack in charisma, they more than make up for with their extensive knowledge of the drinks they sell. Where as most drinks might be served up with a slice of lemon, the drinks at Bantam come with a complete back story of the beverages history and the selection on offer is expansive. To say the least; the selection of booze on sale is an alcoholics dream come true. Many popular brands, such as Jack Daniels, Courvoisier and Calsberg lager can be found amongst the list, as well as more exclusive beverages like bottles of Glendiddich, aged 30 years.

On the other hand, the lack of food being served is quite a disappointment; it’s a bit rich to consider yourself a “traditional Irish pub” when there isn’t even stew on the menu. The time saved eating can always be spent at the dartboard though. It’s a nice addition, even if the hi-tech appearance is a little out of place. A simple wall mounted version in a wooden enclosure would fit in better.

Rating:

Despite slightly missing the mark when it comes to being a traditional Irish pub, Bantam still succeeds in being a relaxing escape from the hustle and bustle of the crowded city.

3/5

Moriarty’s Saloon – Megaton

Moriarty's_Saloon

Despite having gaping holes in the ceiling, Mariarty’s Saloon manages to maintain a surprisingly dark and dingy atmosphere throughout. This “shanty-chic” shit-hole may at least be in perfect keeping with the town, but then that’s hardly something to rave about, and looks as if a stiff breeze could bring the place crashing down.

The bar is fully furnished with tatty, mismatched tables and chairs, some of which appear to be of the garden variety. A combination of scattered lamps and holes in the wall provide a level of mood lighting that is inadequate, but never to the extent that they’re in danger of masking the dilapidated look of the place.

The inclusion of a mezzanine floor, which can often be a nice addiction, finds itself as useless as tit’s on a bull in this establishment. Viewing a turd from a different perspective is still just viewing a turd.

Despite appearances, the staff are very friendly and helpful. They offer a range of beverages, including beer, whiskey, vodka and even stimpaks for those in need of a stronger pick-me-up. Food seemed to be completely off the menu, but then given the state of the place, that’s probably not a bad thing.

Entertainment options are limited to that of music from a clapped out wireless, or the sexual services of Nova, the saloons not-so clapped-out resident hooker.

On a more positive note, the saloons hillside location provide ample views of the entire town from safety of the surrounding terrace. Also, the daisy-chained fairy lights that skirt the building are a nice welcoming touch, once the sun goes down.

Rating:

Moriarty’s Saloon may be cheap and thoroughly un-cheerful; but then where isn’t in the capital wasteland? It’s an acceptable a place as any to drink away your problems, but hard to really recommend a visit for anything else (Unless you happen to have just emerged from a vault and are looking for your Dad).

2/5