The explaining of Doom 3 craving

Let me start by saying that my use of analogies is famously bad.

So now with that out of the way (or should I say, in mind), I am going to try and explain my illogical craving for Doom 3 BFG edition….using an analogy.

Picture me if you will, as a teenage boy.  A sexually confused teenage boy, coming of age in a predominately straight world. Laid out before me is a beautiful woman, mine for the taking.  Her mind could be described as little on the brain dead side, but she has the body of Lucy Pinder and the sexual experience of a veteran MILF pornstar.

I’ve convinced myself this is what I want.  I mean how can it not be?  In truth this is not even my first time.  I’d had sex before.  Ok I hadn’t really enjoyed it, but that must have just been because I was too young to understand it.  It will be different this time.  This time its with the best looking, most experienced woman to date.  Finally I’ll understand and appreciate what everyone has been telling me all my life; how great it is to have sex with a woman.  I mean this is fundamental stuff right?

So I unwrap her, stick the disc firmly in the drive and get down to giving her a good seeing to.  She truly is beautiful and really does know what she’s doing.  On the surface I understand why people would enjoy this.  I understand why people tell me that I should enjoy this.  All the elements are there, conducive of an enjoyable experience.  However something isn’t quite right.  Under the surface something is nagging at me.  Although I accept why people enjoy this, something just feels wrong for me.  A little voice that is trying to tell me something.  This is a lie.  This is forced.  Its then that the realisation hits me!

I WANT COCK!!!

No matter what I do or how hard I try to convince myself otherwise, I cannot change who I am.  It doesn’t matter what popular opinion or the majority vote is.  I can’t force myself to like something, even if peer pressure makes me feel wrong about my decision.

That is why I won’t like Doom 3 BFG Edition

Playing Doom 3 is like making love to a beautiful woman

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4 Comments

  1. GenWarbuff

     /  October 17, 2012

    I don’t get it

    Reply
    • That’s ok, let me try to explain. An analogy is used to form a likeness or a comparison between two things that have some features or structure that are the same but are actually different entities.

      Reply
      • GenWarbuff

         /  October 17, 2012

        Wait…. wanting cock and video games are totally different.

      • Its quite a complex explanation, compounded by the medium of a sexuality discovery analogy…and ones desire for cock. Doom 3 is much like making love to a beautiful woman.

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